Caring for aging parents: estate planning conversations to have now

As our parents age, it’s natural to start thinking about their future care, wellbeing, and financial security. These concerns often extend to estate planning, where necessary conversations about Wills, healthcare, and financial management must be had. While these discussions can be emotional and challenging, addressing them sooner rather than later can help avoid misunderstandings, reduce stress, and ensure that your parents’ wishes are respected.

In this blog, we’ll discuss key estate planning conversations to have with your aging parents and how to approach them with sensitivity and care.

WHY ESTATE PLANNING CONVERSATIONS ARE CRITICAL

Estate planning isn’t just about dividing assets after death—it’s about protecting your parents’ wishes while they are still alive, ensuring their medical needs are met, and easing the burden on family members. Without proper planning, families can face confusion, conflict, and unnecessary legal battles. By discussing your parents’ estate plan now, you can avoid these issues and make sure their desires are honoured.

CONVERSATION 1: DO YOU HAVE A CURRENT WILL?

The most fundamental aspect of estate planning is having a valid and up-to-date Will. Start the conversation by asking if your parents have a Will and when it was last reviewed. It’s crucial that their Will reflects any changes in family dynamics (eg. remarriage, births, or deaths), changes to their assets (such as whether they’ve bought or sold property, or transferred property to an SMSF, trust, or company), and still aligns with their wishes.

Questions to Ask:

• Do you have a Will?
• When was the last time it was updated?
• Is there anything in your Will you’d like to change or review?

Key Considerations:

• Ensure that all assets are accounted for, including digital assets.
• Discuss the appointment of a trusted and capable executor.
• Make sure any specific bequests are clearly outlined to avoid disputes.
• Make sure the family and executors are aware of the Will and know where to find it if needed.

CONVERSATION 2: DO YOU HAVE A CURRENT ENDURING POWER OF ATTORNEY?

An Enduring Power of Attorney (EPA) is essential for managing personal (including) health decisions and financial decisions if your parents lose decision-making ability (this is called “loss of capacity”). Types of decisions that may need to be made include where your parents live and with whom, what healthcare they receive and from which healthcare providers, paying bills, and selling property.

Without an Enduring Power of Attorney, loved ones may make an application to the Queensland Civil and Administrative Tribunal (QCAT) to be appointed as a decision-maker. This process often involves stress, costs, and time delays, and there is no control over who QCAT will ultimately appoint as decision-maker.

Questions to Ask:

• Do you have a current Enduring Power of Attorney?
• Have you appointed an attorney for both personal (including health) decisions and financial decisions?
• Is your EPA up to date, and does it reflect your current wishes?

Key Considerations:

• It is imperative that the chosen attorney can be trusted to:
  • act in your parent’s best interests and prioritise your parent’s rights and needs when making decisions on their behalf;
  • respect your parent’s wishes, values, and preferences;
  • understand their legal obligations and duties as an attorney; and
  • be available to make decisions on your parent’s behalf.
• Make sure the family and attorneys are aware of the EPA and know where to find it if needed.

CONVERSATION 3: DO YOU HAVE AN ADVANCE HEALTH DIRECTIVE?

An Advance Health Directive (AHD) allows your parents to make decisions about their health care now, while they have decision-making capacity, so that their decisions in the document speak for them in the future if they lose decision-making capacity. This includes things like life-sustaining treatment in general, or specific life-sustaining treatments like CPR, artificial nutrition, and antibiotic use.

This document also allows your parents to express their views, wishes, and preferences about their health care. While these are not binding on your parents’ attorneys or health care providers, they let them know what is important to your parents when making decisions about their treatment or care.

Questions to Ask:

• Do you have an Advance Health Directive?
• Have you discussed your medical wishes with your doctor and family?

Key Considerations:

• Ensure that their AHD is clear and addresses any specific concerns or medical conditions.
• Discuss their preferences for life-sustaining treatments and end-of-life care.
• Make sure the family and attorneys are aware of the AHD and know where to find it if needed.

CONVERSATION 4: WHAT ARE YOUR PREFERENCES FOR LONG-TERM CARE?

As parents age, the need for assistance with daily tasks may increase. It’s important to discuss their preferences for long-term care, including whether they would prefer to stay at home, move in with family, or reside in an assisted living facility.

Questions to Ask:

• What are your preferences if you can no longer live independently?
• Have you considered options for in-home care or aged care facilities?

Key Considerations:

• Explore financial options for funding long-term care, such as aged care fees or government assistance.
• Discuss any preparations for modifying the home to accommodate in-home care or disability needs.

CONVERSATION 5: HOW WILL SUPERANNUATION AND ASSETS BE MANAGED?

In Australia, superannuation is often a significant part of a person’s wealth and may not automatically form part of the estate. You should ensure that your parents have nominated beneficiaries for their superannuation accounts and understand how their superannuation will be distributed.

Questions to Ask:

• Have you nominated beneficiaries for your superannuation?
• Do you have other assets (property, investments) that need to be accounted for in your estate plan?

Key Considerations:

• Ensure that all superannuation and life insurance policies have current, binding nominations.
• Ensure your parents have received legal advice on the different tax implications and practical outcomes of the different strategies for how superannuation may be paid.
• Review other assets such as property, business interests, and investments to confirm they are part of the estate plan.

CONVERSATION 6: HAVE YOU CONSIDERED FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS?

While it can be uncomfortable to talk about, discussing funeral preferences with aging parents ensures their wishes are respected and removes the burden of decision-making from grieving family members.

Questions to Ask:

• Have you thought about your funeral arrangements? Do you have any specific wishes?
• Would you like to pre-plan or pre-pay for any aspects of your funeral?
• Would you prefer to be buried or cremated?
• Are there any specific wishes you have for your funeral or other service? Such as photographs or music used? Who to invite? Where it is to be held?

Key Considerations:

• Discuss preferences for burial or cremation, religious or cultural practices, and whether they would like a formal ceremony or a simpler service.
• Explore options for pre-paying funeral expenses or from which accounts/assets funeral expenses are to be paid.

CONCLUSION

Caring for aging parents means taking proactive steps to ensure their wishes are respected and their financial and medical needs are met. By having these estate planning conversations now, you can avoid unnecessary stress and uncertainty in the future.

Remember these conversations may take time and multiple discussions. The key is to approach them with love, understanding, and a genuine desire to support your parents in making important decisions about their future.

“The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.

If you’re ready to start these important discussions or need help creating or updating an estate plan, book our heart-to-heart initial consult. We can provide compassionate and professional assistance to ensure your parents’ estate planning needs are fully addressed.