Chosen Families and Legal Realities

There’s the family you’re born into—and then there’s the family you build.

For many LGBTQIA+ people, carers, and those with deep friendships that span decades, “family” doesn’t always look like a traditional tree with tidy branches. It can look like Sunday dinners with your best friend and their kids, daily check-ins with your neighbour-turned-sister, or a partner you’ve been with for 15 years but haven’t legally married.

These are the people who love you, support you, and who you’d trust with your life. But the law? It doesn’t always see them the way you do.

If something were to happen to you without clear legal documents in place, your legal next of kin are the ones with rights. That usually means a person that fits the legal definition of your spouse, biological family, or children. For chosen families, this can mean being excluded from medical decisions, financial matters, or even receiving any of your property (including sentimental items) after you pass away. That’s not just distressing—it can be devastating.

Here’s what you need to know to protect the people who matter most, even if they’re not technically “next of kin.”

💼 Wills: Say it clearly, say it formally

Without a valid Will, the law decides who gets your property—and the people you actually consider family may miss out completely.

If you want your partner/s, your best friend, or the person who’s been by your side through thick and thin to inherit from you, you need to name them in your Will. It’s also your chance to appoint someone you trust to manage your affairs (your executor), and to set out your funeral wishes.

Otherwise? The estate might pass to estranged relatives or people who don’t reflect your life or values—and your chosen family could be left with nothing.

🧠 Enduring Power of Attorney: For life, not just after death

An Enduring Power of Attorney (also known as an EPA or EPOA) lets you choose who can make personal, health, and financial decisions if you lose capacity—whether temporarily or permanently.

This is particularly important in medical situations. If you’re unconscious, have a serious illness, or are experiencing a mental health crisis, the person you have formally nominated can then step in. Without an EPA, the default decision-makers are usually family members—not necessarily the person you would want in the room.

By appointing your partner, best friend, or another trusted loved one as your attorney, you make sure the person you trust and who knows you best is the one advocating for you.

💬 Advance Health Directives + Funeral Wishes

If you have strong beliefs about medical care, or want to ensure your gender identity is respected in end-of-life care or after death, these documents matter.

An Advance Health Directive can include your preferences around treatment, life support, and more. Including clear funeral or service wishes and what you want to happen to your body (burial, cremation, and other specific wishes) in your Will and letter of wishes can also help ensure your identity and relationships are honoured in death.

🌱 Make it legal, make it known

The love you share and the life you build with your chosen family is real. And it deserves the same legal protections as any other family structure.

At Sun Wills & Estates, we see you. We work with LGBTQIA+ clients and chosen families every day to make sure the right people are empowered to care for you—and carry out your wishes—no matter what happens.

Let’s put it in writing. For clarity, for comfort, and for the people you call home.